Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Facebook, Forgiveness and Forgiveness Foregone

Facebook, Forgiveness and Forgiveness Foregone
Sometimes Facebook has such gems. Be it for laughter or a strong sense truth in a statement. Be it for the shock of discovering some piece of disturbing information that has been hidden from us from those who would profit from our ignorance. Sometimes what is shared is something profound, or something that touches your heart.

I experienced all five this morning alone, before my coffee cup was empty.

The one that left me touched the most came from a "friend'. Someone I know only through Facebook. She openly apologized for all the times she wasn't there for someone and for any time that she may have hurt someone's feelings. And the beauty was that what she said came through as from the deepest part of her heart. She was most definitely sincere. I was so touched by what she offered.

I've reached a point in my own life, where I realize that forgiveness is unnecessary. Not because I don't value when someone apologies. But because I realize that no matter how someone has wronged me, no matter what someone says that either offends me or upsets me in some way, what was done was an opportunity for me to heal on a deeper level or to experience something profound.

When I feel that I've been wronged, or when I'm offended or upset by someone else, it isn't about the other person. It's about me. Only me.

There is contrast in our world for a purpose. And I choose to see that purpose as an opportunity, not just for healing, but for the sheer experience of it.

If it weren't for the dark, I wouldn't be able to see the light. If not for so-called evil, I would not appreciate love. If not for the crappy experiences, I wouldn't see the how capable I am in dealing with these crappy experiences. If not for someone "upsetting" me, I wouldn't understand that the upset comes from a deeper place than the one I just experienced, one that needs to surface in order to be released. If not for someone not coming to my aide or being there for me, difficult as that is at the time, I wouldn't recognize the incredible strength I have within me.

I also understand that it took me being able to forgive in the first place in order for me to get to the place of forgiveness foregone. Does that make me immune from the feelings and emotions in the moment? Not at all. My What Team Are You On? rant the other day is a testament to that.

I cannot judge what I don't know. And I don't know all there is to know. About anything. Even though I can put on quite the act at times. We all can.

So what of judgment?

When I come from a place that sets judgment aside, I see a much bigger picture. A picture that shows the beauty of the landscape that surrounds me. The hills, the valleys, the sticks and stones and prickly thorns. The lushness of the experience of all of it.

And so my dear and sincere Facebook friend, I love that you are such a loving soul. I love that you offered a genuine apology for some of what you see as lacking within you. But I see someone who is not lacking at all.

I see a beautiful soul, rich in experiences, who has done her part in every way possible to help further and deepen the experiences of others. I see a soul who has herself experienced both darkness and light in ways that have expanded her beyond what she thought possible. I see a soul who comes from a place of pure love and is sharing that love with all she can reach, which is ALL of us.
One in All
All in One--
If only this is realized,
No more worry about your not being perfect.

~Edward Conze, Buddhist Scriptures

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  1. Darlene, as you were so obviously touched by your friends post, did you let her know and in particular did you share the contents of your last paragraph with her? Such kind words just might make her day.

    1. I did let her know, Anonymous, but I didn't share the contents of my last paragraph. At least not yet :)


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