It does sound ridiculous, doesn't it? But I'd like to explore this concept that pits emotions that are on seemingly opposite ends of the spectrum.
Most of us fear rejection and abandonment and sickness and other other forms of emotional pain. We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to avoid pain. But what happens if we embrace the experience as just...well...an experience that we're having? What then?
What we tell ourselves is just as important as what we are experiencing. Pain is just a temporary shift in energy. Heavy emphasis on temporary. Pain of any kind is simply energy. View it that way.
This too shall pass, comes to mind.
Pain is inevitable. It's suffering that's optional. And when we try to avoid something that is going to fall into our experience, that's when suffering happens. That's when the energy of the pain or inner disturbance gets blocked within us. And that's when we experience more pain.
But even more importantly, when we try to avoid pain, we build walls. Those walls will also prevent joy from coming in.
If we are okay with feeling inner disturbances and pain, then I believe we can be in pain and happy at the same time. But if we fear inner disturbances and pain, then happiness will elude us.
And what of circumstances, events or other people making us happy?
When we wait for outside forces to make us happy, we will eventually be disappointed. This is because we can't control anything outside of ourselves. We can only control how we respond to anything thrown at us, any experience.
We will never find true happiness outside of ourselves. It must come from within. When we turn inward for our happiness and choose it, then that happiness will always be available to us. No matter what.
Happiness is a choice. It's a choice we make each day, throughout the day. And the way to happiness is through gratitude.
So be grateful for the painful experience and what it can bring to you in the way of experience. The energy of the painful experience will then flow right through you.
Be comfortable with inner disturbance and pain. Don't fear it. Embrace it with the knowledge and wisdom that this is all part of the human experience. When we achieve this level of acceptance and surrender (surrender, not as in giving up, but rather, as in non-avoidance) we can be both happy and in pain at the same time.