Children who grow up in abusive homes don't have a voice. They often grow into adulthood still believing that they don't have a voice. This is perfectly understandable. If you never had the right to speak up, how can you expect to suddenly develop your voice.
Then there is the fear of one's abusers. This is a fear rooted in childhood, but stubbornly stays even in adulthood. It's a fear than can easily transport an adult back to a horrible moment of the past. Which can leave the survivor paralyzed with that fear.
It's not unusual for a full-fledged adult to feel as though their voice is still being taken away. They can feel invisible. Unable to cope.
So how do you get beyond the invisibility and take back the power that was taken from you?
First: Recognize the abuse happened in the past. It's not happening in the moment. This can be so challenging if you're having a physical response. Just breathe through it. Deeply in...then deeply out.
Second: Acknowledge that you're an adult now. I know, this may seem ridiculously obvious. But what happens when we find ourselves in these emotional moments is that we forget we are no longer helpless children. It really helps to remind yourself that you aren't helpless anymore.
Third: Decide what you really want. Believe that what you really want REALLY does matter.
Fourth: Tell yourself that what others say or what others imply by their mere presence does not matter. What matters is YOU! What matters is what YOU want!
Fifth: Stand in your own power. Stand in the knowledge that your true voice comes from the inside. From the belief that you CAN get what you really want. In spite of what anyone else says or does.
What challenges do you face in taking back the power that was taken from you?
I am one of the fortunate ones. I had caring loving parents and was always listened to. That does not mean that my parents always agreed with me or supplied me with everything I wanted but they certainly provided everything I needed.For people like me it is important that I encourage others to speak their minds, listen intently and then offer my opinion both if I agree or disagree, but this must be done respectfully without any attempt to chastise or make fun of the other persons thoughts.ReplyDelete